One comparison, start to finish: from the printed poem to the first paragraph

Did Abraham Lincoln write the Gettysburg Address on the back of an envelope, on the train? It is a famous story about a great speech dashed off in a hurry. It is not true. The envelope tale was spread by a nineteen-oh-six story, The Perfect Tribute, by Mary Raymond Shipman Andrews, and Lincoln had worked on drafts in Washington before he travelled. The short, strong speech came from the planning. In the exam you have about forty-five minutes, a poem on the page and a blank one in your head. The gap between those two things is a plan, and it takes about two minutes. What those two minutes buy you shows once the opening is on paper.

This video builds one comparison from start to finish. It uses Exposure and Remains, and the lines it quotes come from the videos on those two poems. Here is the question, in a real exam's shape: compare how two poets show conflict, using Exposure, which is printed, and one other poem you choose. Three words carry it: compare, how and conflict. Each one sets you a different job. Which word asks you to write about the poets' methods: compare, how, or conflict? How. How the poets show it means language, form and structure, the methods, and what they do. Compare means the two poems have to be related, not just described, and conflict names the strand.

Now the second poem, chosen out loud. The strand is the reality of conflict, and three poems share it closely with Exposure: the Light Brigade, Bayonet Charge and Remains. Try it on paper before I show you the answer: pick one, with a one-sentence reason. This plan picks the last of the three, Armitage's poem. Both show the worst damage happening away from the moment of battle, and they differ in a way that is easy to explain: Owen's men suffer together, Armitage's soldier suffers alone.

Then the plan itself, four lines, written in about two minutes. Line one is the claim: both poems show conflict doing its worst damage away from the battle; Owen's men are killed by waiting, Armitage's soldier by memory. Line two is Exposure: the refrain "But nothing happens." Owen also gives the weather the weapon, and the speaker is a we, a whole trench. Line three is Remains: "probably armed, possibly not", said once on patrol and once at home, and the story that tries to stop, "End of story, except not really." The speaker is one I. Line four is the ending: Owen's poem closes on a burial party still waiting, Armitage's on "his bloody life in my bloody hands". The war has come home.

Next comes the opening, written from the plan's first line. Here are two openings for comparison. The first: Conflict is a key theme in many poems, and both poets use a range of language, structure and form to present their ideas about it, which this essay will explore. The second: Owen and Armitage both show conflict doing its worst damage away from battle. Owen's men are destroyed by waiting; Armitage's soldier, by a memory that will not end. Which of those two openings is actually answering the question? The second. It makes a claim about these two poems that the essay can now prove. The first could open an essay on any two poems, so it says nothing yet. One examiner's report makes the same point: A brief but focussed introduction often helps sustain focus on the task, like a setting of an agenda. So the fix for a pre-learned opening is to write a fresh one from your plan. It costs no extra time, because the plan has already done the thinking.

And now one comparative paragraph, built from lines two and three of the plan. Owen presents conflict as something endured rather than fought. His refrain closes four of the eight stanzas, and each time the men are nearer death, so the waiting itself becomes the killing. Even the weather is armed, because Owen writes of "the merciless iced east winds that knive us", giving a weapon's verb to the wind. Armitage also shows the danger arriving when nothing seems to be happening, but he moves it inside the soldier's head. The same four words are said on patrol and again at home, so a judgement becomes a doubt he cannot escape. Armitage even has the poem try to finish halfway, with "End of story, except not really", so the structure itself refuses to let the memory end. Whereas Owen's we suffer together and in the present, Armitage's I suffers alone and long after. That suggests that for a modern soldier, the conflict does not end when the fighting does. Why does the word whereas matter so much in that last sentence? Because it turns two descriptions into one judgement. Whereas makes the paragraph say how the poems differ, which is what comparison means.

And that is what the two minutes bought. The plan is the argument: once you have written down why these two poems belong in the same essay, the paragraphs stop being a list and start being one line of thought.

One final round, four questions, and the last asks you to start a brand-new plan. What are the four lines of the two-minute plan? The claim, a line for each poem, and the ending: four lines of plan. Now the question: which word tells you to bring the poets' methods? How. The word how asks for language, form and structure, and their effects. Try the introduction: what should it do, in the report's own picture? Set an agenda: the report's picture is a brief, focussed introduction about these two poems. One more, a new pair: Poppies is printed. What is the claim line for a plan with War Photographer? Something like: both poems show conflict reaching people who were never in the fighting, a mother at home and readers at breakfast. Weir keeps the grief close, while Duffy shows it being turned into a page. Lincoln's speech was not dashed off on an envelope. Your comparison should not be either: two minutes of planning, and the essay becomes one line of thought.

Write a plan of the same shape in two minutes and you could write that paragraph tomorrow, so give it a thumbs-up. If not, time yourself on one plan this week; the second try is quicker.

That completes our chapter on Power and Conflict poetry.

Every other video is on scholafly.com too, easy to search by video code or by keyword. Whatever you're revising, go there and have a look.